literature

Nigthmares (Levi/Rivaille x Reader)

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Literature Text

Sleep was hard to find these days. The images of dead comrades never vanished. Nor the blood. Those screams.
They would haunt one till their end. Or till they lost their minds first.

It wasn´t easy handling this. It never would be. But we soldiers needed to. We couldn´t afford to lose control over us. Failure was no option, would never be one.
So we endured the images. The pain. It was a part of our life.

And it would always be.


--

Writing reports were the most annoying thing. Soon followed by titans, but they were nowhere in sight. Those damn papers although were still waiting on my desk. I wasn´t able to do anymore of them, so I decided to go to the kitchen of the HQ and make some tea.
Now I leaned against a counter and warmed my hands on the cup filled with tea.
Erwin was waiting for those papers. Damn it, I would need to hurry up in order to finish them. And the night wasn´t that young anymore.

A yawn escaped my lips. My whole body ached for sleep, but I guessed that I wouldn´t get much tonight. Gladly I always slept well. Dreamless.

Thoughtfully I looked into the half empty cup in my hands. I wondered if Erwin ever had nightmares. He sacrificed so much to help humanity. And still, wouldn´t someone lose their mind because of that? Or would´ve at least been chased by those images of all the dead?

The door opened. I looked up to see Levi entering the kitchen. He nodded towards me.

“Squad leader.”

“Corporal.”

I put my cup aside and filled a second one with the tea. It was still warm. After I handed the cup over to Levi, I took my own once again.

Levi took a sip. A little sigh escaped his lips. I watched him from the corner of my eye.
Looking down his hands rested on the counter I was leaning against. His eyes were red and swollen. Dark lines could be seen under them. Also the rest of his body seemed to be tired. Exhausted. It almost looked like as if he carried a big burden on his shoulders.

“Do you have nightmares?” he asked in a deep, low voice.

I shook my head. “I never experienced these.”

One of his eyebrows twitched. His gaze rested still on the dark liquid in his cup.

“Do the images of the dead never haunt you?”

“Oh yes, they do. The whole time when I´m writing the reports. Afterwards I´m banishing them in the deepest part of my mind. They never left this part nor did they appear in a dream. Guess they are very good enchained.”

He growled.

“You´re lucky.”

I drank the rest of my tea and put the cup away.

“Perhaps.”

With that I left him alone with his thoughts. The paperwork wouldn´t be done by itself.

--

Levi liked to discuss with me the events of the expeditions or the plans Erwin invented. That´s why he would sometimes enter my room without a word and wait until I was done with my paperwork.
He used to growl a ‘Finally done?’ before telling me why he came to me this time.

My candle was already half burnt down as my door opened and shut. Footsteps marched through my room and stopped at the couch to my left. A light thud announced that the person had settled himself there. I merely looked up for a second to check if it really was him.

And then my attention drifted back to the papers in front of me. The pencil scratched over the empty sheets for a while. I wrote so fast that my hand began to ache. My vision went blurry for a second.
Geez, I really needed some rest.

Finally, I was done.

Suppressing a yawn I eventually looked to Levi.
He was leaning against the back of the couch with his shoulder. One leg rested completely on the soft mattress of the couch as the other one touched the ground. His head hang slightly and I could see that he struggled to keep his eyes wide open.

I had never seen him like this before. He really looked horrible.

Slowly, carefully not to make a sound I approached him. I stood behind him for a while watching the moon shining through the window. Then my gaze went back to him, to his broad shoulders. I could see that they were strained. His whole body was tense. As if he was about to run away in the next minute.

I reached my hands out to his neck and touched the warm skin. He twitched by my touch but immediately started to relax. At least he tried.
So I started to massage his neck to get his tension away. His shoulders.
After a while I went further down his back. To his shoulder blades. His lower back.
And back up again to his shoulders. His neck.
I continued the procedure over and over again.

Soon after I started Levi began to relax more and more. His breath became slower. And deeper by the minute.

Eventually I stopped. The candle was burnt down for a while now.
I pulled my hands away and stepped beside Levi. I bent down to see if he was asleep.

His eyes suddenly fluttered open. A little groan escaped his lips.
He tried to get up, but failed. Reaching my hands out to him I tried to help him up. Shaking his head he pulled my hands away.

“I can do it by myself.” he muttered.

Still struggling he finally got up from the couch and made its way to the door. He stopped there looking over his shoulder to me.

“Thank you.”

And then he entered the hallway leaving me in the darkness.

--

Since then he visited me more often. Guess those nightmares were chasing him not only once in a while. They were a constant in his life.

When the dreams were really bad he would talk about it while I massaged him. Till now it only happened a few times. And he also admitted on one of those days that he always felt better after this. That he could sleep well. That he merely had a nightmare.

But there were also days were he wouldn´t appear at all. It made me smile knowing that he hadn´t any bad dreams. On the other hand it made me sad as well. I enjoyed his company.
If he didn´t show up I missed him. A lot.

And today was unfortunately one of these days. I wondered why I missed him that much.

Standing in the middle of the room I looked out the window. The sun would rise in an hour. A new expedition would start soon.

Too soon.

Suddenly the door slammed open. I turned around to see Levi approaching fast.
Soon I was pulled to him.

He pulled me in for a long, hungry and passionate kiss. A desperate kiss.

And then I laid in his arms. He buried his face in my shoulder. I could feel how he inhaled my scent. His fingers dug into my back. Eventually I returned the embrace.
Our hearts beat a fast rhythm. A rhythm of love and desperation. Of fear.
His breath suddenly tickled my ear.

“I needed to be sure that you are still alive.”

--

Galloping horses. Heavy footsteps. The sound of shooting wires. And blades cutting through flesh.
I felt the air on my skin as I flew through the many trees. We needed to get away.
There were too many of
them.

And then I bumped into something. Something hot. Something big.

Shit.

I was falling. I looked into the eyes of this monster. His hand reached out for me.
I knew even if I would shot out my wires, it was too late. Too late to get away before it grabbed me.


I´m sorry, Levi. I can´t be there anymore to chase away the nightmares. Those images that were haunting you.
I´m so sorry.

My focus laid on the hand above me. It was only inches away on grabbing me.
Levi appeared. He looked at me in horror. Determination could be seen in those grey eyes of his.

He flew right into the hand of the titan. The fingers closed around him.

My eyes widened.

I shoot up my wires and cut through the wrist of the monster. The cause of our nightmares.
The hand fell to the ground.
And then I killed the titan.


Landing on the ground I ran to the vaporizing hand. Levi laid a few inches away from it.
There was so much blood.

“Levi…”

He didn´t answer. He wasn´t able to. One last time my eyes locked with his.
Then I saw how is life vanished from it.

He had left me. Left me all alone in this.
This
nightmare.


Panting heavily I shot up in my bed. My heart bumped angrily. Desperately.
Only a dream.
It was nothing more than a dream.

I left my bed and stumbled through the corridors of the HQ.
Finally I reached the door I was looking for.

I was afraid to go inside. My hand touched the surface of the dark wooden door. And fell limb to my side again.
Eventually I opened the door and stepped in.

It was Levi´s office. I stood in there for a while. A long time. The images were still fresh in my mind.

Slowly I approached the chair in a corner of the room. His cloak laid there neatly folded.
I grabbed it. I brought the fabric close to my face.

And inhaled his sweet scent.

The first time I had a nightmare.
A nightmare I couldn´t wake up from.

I was afraid that his scent would vanish from the fabric of his cloak. And would never come back.
So as he.

--

Nightmares unease the state of your mind. You need to fight them.
If not you will lose your mind.

Or your life.
Well yeah, so here again a Levi x Reader
I know, I know, it´s not fluffy. But I think it really fits to the story.
So enjoy ;)

Nothing belongs to me apart from the story itself of course :P
© 2014 - 2024 scribblingfairytale
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Whoooaaaa that was deep!! I love it 😍